You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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