How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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