last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
