Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
