Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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