Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
