if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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