My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
