he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
