Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
