I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
