this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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