sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
