His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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