He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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