The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Bring me that man meat
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
