I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Who died my cat blue again?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
