why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
