i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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