Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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