Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
