I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
