doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
