bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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