in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
