i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
