stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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