Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
