I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My pussy is not your playground.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
