Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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