real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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