ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
