I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Everything about him screamed your future.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
