Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
