High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
