I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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