I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
