Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
