You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
