im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
