I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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