maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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