do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
