WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
