I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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