There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
