He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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