The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
