Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
