she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
